27 October 2015


This post has been in my heart for quite some time now, and I'm finally getting down to business and writing about what's been on my mind these past few weeks.  It's a littly mushy gushy, but what's new? Ha!

The past few weeks I've thought so much about the stages of my life so far.  How things have changed.  If I see kids playing at the playground, teenagers laughing at a restaurant, a couple kissing at the mall, newlyweds taking pictures at the temple, or someone on Facebook expecting their first baby, I think about that stage in my life.  I think about how my life has evolved.  Especially about the people in my life who have been there throughout the different phases and stages.  And you know what I've realized?  It's the PEOPLE in my life that have made everything worth it.  It's the friends and family that have helped me discover who I am, what I'm about, and what I'm not about.  

A few weeks ago, I ran into Noah.  One of the kids I used to nanny for in college.  He came up to Buns and I at our table at Cafe Rio when we were out on a date.  I practically hit the ceiling when I jumped out of my seat to give him a hug.  I hadn't seen him in forever, and he was so grown up! Holy cow, he was like 7 feet tall!  He was all stylin', handsome, and just so grown-up.  In my mind he was still the 13 year old that I'd play basketball with in the driveway, the boy I'd help with math homework, and the kid who popped out of every nook and cranny known to man to try to scare me when I lived with them.  He was the boy who'd come sit on my swivel chair at my desk and tell me about his day at school.  He was the kid who always wanted to play cards or board games, and usually I'd cave because who wants to do their homework anyways?  But at Cafe Rio, he wasn't that boy anymore.  He was a senior.  We hugged, he told me what he was up to.  He had just gotten back from the day date for Homecoming that night.  He went on a date.  A date!  Madness.  But not really because he's a sweetheart and any girl is lucky to get taken out on a date by him!  When we finished chatting, he hopped in line with his buddies to grab some grub.  

I kept peeking at him laughing with his friends.  He wasn't that 13 year old anymore.  And I wasn't the same person I was when I was his nanny.  Without knowing the details, I know he'd grown up.  Been through some growing pains.  And I had too.  My life has changed so much since the first day I came to their house to be their nanny.  I'll never forget, I was rushing over to their place after just finishing a test that I took (which I BOMBED by the way hahaha).  I was so nervous because I was going to be a little late and kept thinking, Awesome, way to give a good first impression Ashton, hopefully they don't turn you away when you get there!  Lol.

I think seeing Noah at Cafe Rio was the spark that got me in this reminiscing state of mind these past few weeks.  Seeing Noah got me thinking about his dad.  The big boss man.  I could go on forever about how amazing the guy is, but my fingers would spazz from all the typing.  Verl is one of the most selfless, giving men I know.  Their family became my little Provo family, and I feel so blessed to have been a part of their life.  They were angels at a period of time in my life that I needed them so badly and didn't even realize it.  I lived with them for a couple of years in college while I nannied for them.  Those years were such growing years for me.  Sounds cheesy, but a period of time where I was really exploring who I was.  Learning, learning, and more learning.

The Allens were just one example of some of those people in my life that kept me sane and happy during an unsure time of life.  Some of the people who gave me so much love.  And so much laughter.  Those kids kept me laughing on the daily.  24/7.  Unless Noah and Grace were fighting.  I guess then the laughing was scarce, but other than that, those two were such jokers.  Love them.

Gosh, even typing this all out, my head is spinning with memories and just how crazy that time of my life was.  I was experiencing so many "growing pains" of life and love. (Yes I just said life and love).  There was a period of time that I just felt like door after door was slamming shut in my face.  I didn't know what my next step was, and I didn't know what God expected of me.  What He had in store.  I felt a little let down and disappointed that things weren't going as I had planned.  I mean royally not going as planned people. I'm such a planner.  I like organization.  I like goals and having a plan of how to reach those goals.  It's a hard pill to swallow when my plans go south.  And man were they going south.  WAY south.  

And then people just kept popping in on my life that CHANGED ME.

Aaaand I'll write about it more later, but for now I'm all typed out haha.  Cliff hanger!...Haha not really, but here's a teaser...

Girls in my singles' ward
Thomas Lang
And of course, my lover boy, Buns

And in other news, Halloween is this weekend! Holla shot calla. Now I just have to make Rigg's costume...eeeeeeek.  I have all the materials but just have to get to work! I'll give you $100 if you guess who they're going to be.

JK, I'll just tell you...
♥, Me

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