12 October 2015

Journaling 10.12.15

This post is gonna be a little interesting because I don't really know what exactly I want to write about, but I know I want to take a hot second to record a little bit of our lives lately.  I haven't journaled like AT ALL since Riggs was born, and I hate that.  For those of you that know me well, you know that my memory isn't the most reliable, so I've always loved to keep a journal.  It's fun for me to go back and relive memories.

The past 6 months has been a whirlwind.  An absolute whirlwind.  So much change.  But surprisingly it's been wonderful.  Really hard sometimes.  But really awesome too.  Todd and I decided to go on a bit of an adventure over the summer.  We decided he would take the opportunity to go work for a company called Vivint selling home automation systems in Columbia, SC.  When we were deciding to go, it was March, and I was 6 months pregnant with Riggs, which meant that if we DID decide to go, Riggs would be born in Columbia, SC!  And I would be 7.5 months pregnant when we made the move.  What the?!  After a lot of prayer and weighing pros and cons, we decided it was where we should be for the summer!  We were a little nervous (okay a LOT nervous) but also excited for something new and different.

Once we actually packed up and moved to South Carolina, it was a bit of an initial shock to our system.  Todd was gone a lot, Reese was emotional, going through an intense tantrum phase, I was emotional, thinking about having another baby and how I would balance everything, yadayadayada...Todd's job was hard.  He had to work hard to learn the ins and outs of selling, and it really took over all of his time.  But he buckled down and really worked his behind off.  I was so proud of him.  Day in and day out, he went out to work such a mentally taxing job, and I was so proud of his determination and work ethic.  He is such a powerhouse when it comes to diligence and accomplishing goals.

We were blessed to be surrounded by super awesome, fun, positive people while we were there though, and I couldn't have asked for a better group of girlfriends to help pass the time with.  Lots and lots of time.  I grew to love them all in such a tremendous way.  

Finally we got in the groove of things, and of course right when that happenned, it was time for Rigg's to come!  On June 15th, our baby boy, Riggins Todd Barrett, was born.  From the second he was put into my arms, I felt like a spot in our family was filled that I didn't even really realize was missing.  He has been a very special edition to our family, and I couldn't be more grateful for his sweetness and disposition.  He is my angel boy.

Adjusting to two kids was don't get me wrong tough on some days, and I don't think anyone is ever ready for the initial major sleep-deprivation, but it's like I said...Riggs really did fill this spot in our home that we didn't realize was missing.  It was like we had never known life without him.

It's kind of funny me saying that because I remember so vividly with Reese feeling so bugged (I don't think that's exactly the right word but we'll go with it) when I thought of people who had told me that once she was born, it would be like you couldn't remember life without her.  Once she was born, I used to think, WAIT A SECOND.....I definitely DO remember what life was like without her.  I was free!!! Hahaha,  But with Riggs it was a little different.  I feel like he has solidified by role as a mother, and I'm so grateful for this slow but steady transformation that is motherhood.  It's a selfless, consuming role, and I find myself thinking of my mom in such a different light than I ever did before.  So much gratitude.  Gratitude and respect for her coming out the yin-yang!!

Every new paragraph of this post so far, I'm like what should I talk about next??  There's so much I keep thinking to share, but really don't even know where to begin!  So I guess I'll talk about my Reese-a-Roni because she's been on my mind a lot lately.

Reese is such an independent little lady.  She likes to do things herself, and if they're not done the way she wants them done, she lets you know.  She likes her space.  Don't get up in her grill folks.  It doesn't leave a good first impression.  But there's a sweetness to her that most people don't get to see initially.  Every once in a while, she'll walk up next to me, and hug my leg, pressing her little face into my thigh and squeezing tight.  It lasts for just a few seconds, but they are the most precious moments for me.  Those hugs come totally unsolicited and are about as genuine as hugs come.  She has her own personality.  Her very own personality, and I love every bit of who she is.  Even though my kids are so little and have yet to talk or really be able to express their needs or wants...I see so clearly parts of their personality that are unique to them.  Qualities that I feel will always be a part of who they are.

I've been really loving mothering lately.  I have a complex about it actually.  That sounds so weird, but I feel weird sometimes saying how much I love being a mom of two.  I feel like when people ask, I should reply with an exhausted response that it's insane and crazy but worth it.  Don't get me wrong.  There are frustrating times for sure.  There are times when they're both freaking out at the same time and times that they drive me crazy, but there are mostly really, really, really good times.

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