19 February 2015

So We Talked...

Just a little something below that Buns shared with me last night from good ol' MJ.  We had a convo about character traits and what we thought THE most important character trait was that a person could have.  The trait that trumps all others.  My initial thought was compassion.  Then Todd threw out CONSISTENCY or DILIGENCE.  Yeah, okay Socrates, explain yourself.  He went on to talk about how important consistency in all aspects of your life is, home, work, school, relationships with God, me, and Reese...being consistent every day, through the good, the bad, the ugly, come sun, rain, hail, you get the idea.
To be honest, this whole conversation was sparked because it had been an evening of really feeling inadequate in some areas as a mom/wife/homemaker.  I really didn't want to make dinner.  Haha it sounds so silly that that's where it all stemmed from!  Quite frankly I never want to make dinner.  I don't enjoy it.  And that's that.  I hate the clean up, I hate the precision of a million different spices/seasonings, I hate the timing, I hate the chopping, I hate how long it takes to make a really good meal.  Sue me.  And with poor Roni girl being sick, we were cooped up in the house all day so that didn't help my attitude either haha.

So Buns and I talked.

And as always, he made me feel a million times better.  It started off with laughing about how he would think I was crazy if I loved every aspect of homemaking and being a stay-at-home mom.  About how he would be concerned if on the days Reese is being a pill, I loved it.  About how he hates doing the dishes and doing laundry and cleaning toilets, so how the heck could he expect me to love it?  He went on to talk about something that really helped me feel better and realize that I'm doing alright as a momma.  He said, "Ashton, I think we need to get out of the mindset that we're in about what it means to be a mother."

He said you are not a mother because you do the dishes.  You are not a mother because you make dinner.  You are not a mother because you are at home all day.  For me, it was just what I needed to hear.  I am a mother because I love my baby girl.  I am a mother because I love laughing with my mini bestie.  I am a mother because I love watching Reese discover new things and learn.  I am a mother because I give hugs and kisses.  I am a mother because when she wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, shivering and crying because she's sick, I change her into dry clothes, sing her songs, snuggle her tight in my arms, keep her warm, and rock her back to sleep.  That part I love.  After all the "hub-bub" of a pretty lousy day, Reese fell asleep in my arms.  Something that never happens.  I could've put her down in her crib right away, but I let the moment soak in for a little bit.  I thanked God for allowing me that moment and to be reminded of why I love being a mom.  What it means to be a mother.

And even though Buns didn't mean to, he actually made me feel like even though I don't like dinner, dishes, or laundry (which I'm quickly realizing NO ONE DOES #duh #imnottheonlyone) I can still have a positive attitude about it.  Because that is in my control.  I can make my weaknesses strengths.  I can find a way to do dinner, dishes, and laundry that doesn't make me lose my mind.  We can find a way that works for us.  Because that's what Buns and I are...an "us".

And that's that.  Just some ramblings from a mom on that learning curve grind.
Hope y'all are having a great day!  And just because I like it, I included a little video for all you mommas.
, Ashton Tilton

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