"some days as i putter around the house, changing diapers and folding laundry and tossing plastic horses back from whence they came into their gray felt toy bin, i'll stop and realize that i feel a little bit like i am playing house. all these green army guys dotting the floor and the smears of yogurt on the couch stop feeling like a mess. instead they become the very best kind of make believe. make believe this life is mine. and then i laugh at myself because this is my life. and plenty of people would look at it and think, "yuck." plenty of people would look at my marriage and think, "limiting." plenty of people would look at my daily list of things i accomplish and think, "silly."
but somehow i feel like i lucked out big time. somehow i feel like i'm living the dream.
it's not like my life is anything particularly noteworthy or exciting or special. it's just the life of a mom cleaning up after a baby. i mean, you see it every day in commercials: frumpy mom in a button up mops the floor. frumpy mom in a button up makes decisions about the peanut butters. frumpy mom in a button up and frizzy hair sacrifices herself and her former ambitions so that her kids can run around like ungrateful brats in stain-free clothing, playing soccer and drinking juice and leaving messes in their wake. it's the kind of life businessmen in suits look down on and tsk tsk about, all the while trying to turn a profit off it. you know, "bon bons and soap operas and mini vans." that's all this is.
and yet, this is it. for me, this is it. brandon goes off to work and i don't feel jealous of his importance or his title. i rather respect his sacrifice all the more, because i had that life once and i hated it. it was not forme. this right here, this is the promotion. and huck's not the boss, like some might think. i'm the boss. i'm more than the boss. he is my kingdom, that little turkey, and this little apartment on the upper west side, this blessed little home, this is my palace. and i will tell you something: it feels regal, the work i do here. in here, i am a queen."
excerpt via Natalie Jean.
Today this is how I feel, and I'm grateful for women who can say what's in my heart a million times more eloquently than I ever could. Thank you Natalie Jean.