31 January 2014

Letting Go

I know I said that updates would be coming soon, but not tonight.  Or not in full force anyways.

With this new little bundle of lovins that has come into our life recently, I realized I never took the time to celebrate and soak in one of my favorite times of the year...the New Year!  I've always loved New Year's Day.  I guess not even really the day itself but just that time of year.  It's time for new beginnings, new goals, new endeavors, etc, etc... I love (and I mean absolutely love...like I take it very seriously in a very happy way) looking back on the year and thinking about...wait for it...

My mistakes, trials, and shortcomings.  There is nothing more happy to me than thinking about things that were hard for me over the past year and how they made me stronger.  How I overcame them.  Of course when you're in the middle of said "tough stuff" it's hard to see the big picture, but looking back is always worth it.  2013 was the first full year Buns and I had together, start to finish.  One of my favorite things about bein hitched is that you've got a buddy for everything...even for the tough stuff. And Buns fulfilled that role with such strength and love, it was incredibly noble.  But despite 2013's tough stuff, it was also one of the most beautiful years of my life thus far.  It was beautiful because of growing, laughing, and living with Buns, but especially because the year was topped off with the arrival of our little princess, Reese Lynn.  

Me on motherhood:

People always told us that once she came, we wouldn't remember what life was like without her.  Right now, being a fresh-off-the-market momma, I do remember what life was like without her.  I remember when it was just Todd and me.  Just us on a Friday night.  Just us going to work or to hang with friends.  Just us to plan for and take care of.  Just us.  

To say our world has expanded is an outrageously criminal understatement. Our expansion:

Now it's Todd, Reese, and I on a Friday night.  Now it's Reese and I going to work.  It's Todd, Reese, and I going to hang with friends.  Our plans revolve around our baby girl to make sure she's taken care of.  That she's happy and healthy.  

And it is the most wonderful, beautiful, hard, happy, testing, and tremendous blessing that could've ever fallen in our laps. So do I remember what life was like before our lil' nug got here?  I sure do.  But I wouldn't trade a second of our new life for anything.

Bottom line is that in my whopping 6 weeks of motherhood, I've learned oh so many crazy and great things about myself and this calling, but the biggest three are as follows:

1. The learning just keeps on comin. And that's okay.
2. You're not a perfect mother Ashton Barrett.  And that's okay.
3. You love your daughter, Reese Lynn, so intensely and profoundly, you don't know what to do with yourself.  And that's why it's all worth it.

She's our everything.


  1. Hahahahaha! That picture of tired you made me laugh. Ahhhhhh, motherhood! Loved this post. So perfect. Also, why is Todd cutting off Reese's onesie? This is Court btw:)

    1. Hahahah soooo it's actually pretty funny. That first picture of him holding her with the poo all up her back was right before the picture of him cutting the onesie off lol. We decided it would be too nasty to lift that poo onesie over her head so we cut it off....haha, we're newbies, can ya tell?!


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